CPS GIVES-UP ON 10 YEAR OLD… SEPARATES HIM FROM 5 SIBLINGS!

MESSAGE TO: JULIE RIGGINS; CPS – SOCIAL WORKER (PRODUCT ACQUISITION AGENT); CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES (CPS), WAKE COUNTY, NORTH CAROLINA…

It has been reported by Julie Riggins of Child Protective Services that due to a decline in my 10-year-old son Matthew’s behavior, he is to be separated from his 5 brothers and sisters and placed in a separate FOSTER HOME over 150 miles away!  This action is unconscionable!  Truly unimaginable! Julie Riggins claims that there are no other options and supports her decision further by claiming that the current incompetent, 24-year-old caregiver must “keep working.”  Why is she working to begin with?  How can she possibly be working?  There are 6 children under 12 years old in her care.  In her care?  What am I saying?  She’s only 24 years old!  Why are my children not currently with either myself or my wife? Sounds like everyone wants to get their grips on all the MONEY my children bring to the table, but they don’t want the responsibility of actually caring for them…

This incompetent social worker Julie Riggins goes on to say that my son Matthew’s behavior has declined at home and that it is affecting my other children.  Is she serious?  He’s 10 years old for crying out loud!  What type of genius does it take to Love and Care for a 10-year-old boy.  How about a little accountability, and maybe setting guidelines and holding him to those guidelines.

Last month Julie Riggins requested that I “speak” with Matthew about his behavior prior to a scheduled visit with all of my children.  I explained that it would be very difficult for any conversation we have to be effective since I would not be the one to hold him accountable.  Also, he was abducted from our home over a year ago by this corrupt agency and had absolutely NO CONTACT with me for 234 days.  Here’s a question; If I was failing so miserably at raising my children, why come to me for advise?  They present themselves as the so-called “professionals” and even have their very own in-house so-called “Parenting Classes” taught by their own designated Social Worker (they made me attend 2 of them!) WHY COME TO ME after making it their life-long goal to separate us as father and son???  WHY???

Matthew consistently yearns to extend his visits with me and has also asked to have the visit frequency increased, to no avail. He has not had the opportunity to experience even one visit with his mother in almost a year. Sorry, he has had exactly ONE VISIT – in a year with his mother!  As I mentioned earlier, I cannot possibly address these issues without knowing (or being a part of) the details that led up to each occurrence and without being able to follow-up and hold him accountable for any clearly established guidelines or limits with regard to his behavior. There needs to be a fine line established between love and accountability and clear, attainable goals set to overcome such issues. These things cannot be accomplished in a 15-30 minute talk every two weeks.

I further explained that Matthew can absolutely be a handful, but that we had no trouble whatsoever keeping that in check in our home, since we certainly held him accountable with appropriate consequences. I have been expressing from the start of this fiasco that placing 6 minor children with a 24-year-old cousin (Natasha Wilde) was a GALACTIC execution of poor judgement on the part of everyone involved with the ridiculous GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACY up to and including the KANGAROO COURT. Natasha has allowed my children to come into harms way on more than a few occasions. She has also added STRESS to their lives (especially Stephen -12 and Matthew – 10) by leaving them unsupervised with our 4 other younger children for long periods of time; placing an undue burden on them along with levels of responsibility well past what a reasonable person would consider to be acceptable. Much of her decision-making in this area has been to accommodate her own selfish needs. This is not a JOKE, it’s a TRAGEDY!  And these people actually question WHY Matthew is acting up???  NO LOVE in the home, NO SUPERVISION in the home, NO ACCOUNTABILITY in the home, NO MOTHER in the home, NO FATHER in the home; must I go on???

In the end I agreed to speak with Matthew and simply expressed to him that I would like to help him if he could convey to me whether or not something is bothering him or simply if there was something on his mind that we should discuss. I was trying to allow him space to open up.  I KNOW what is bothering him, but to some extent the words and expressions about his feelings should absolutely come from him if they are to be helpful.  I mentioned some of the issues raised, but tried to keep things in more general terms so that he could understand that he must think about his actions; and so that he might understand that we all make mistakes, but we must all strive to improve. He was very responsive to much of the conversation. At one point we hugged and cried together; as he held on tight as if to not let go. later during the visit, I was having some fun with him as I explained he would need to protect his sisters as they grew up. I expressed to him that they were so beautiful, they would have boys lined up around the block and that he would need to ensure they are treated properly and with respect (protect them). He responded; “But I’ll be here with you in North Carolina…” HE IS MY BOY! Through and Through! I pray they are all with me here in North Carolina…

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The independent agency who supervises the visits filed the following as part of a report produced on July 11, 2011: Mr. Reale appropriately discussed with Matthew the negative behaviors Matthew has been demonstrating while also listening to Matthew’s frustration with the situations (experiences in daycare, etc).  Mr. Reale then facilitated talk with Matthew about other strategies to use when he is upset or feeling he is being treated unfairly.  Mr. Reale also pointed out to Matthew that he needs to have respect for all adults, telling Matthew that he is to treat Natasha and the daycare provider as he would his parents.  The discussion concluded with Matthew giving his dad a long embrace, while both cried a little.  Matthew was given some time to compose himself before going with the therapist to get his siblings.  Matthew appeared to enjoy the remainder of the visit and did not seem bothered by the discussion prior with his father.  Matthew initiated conversations and engaged in play as he did in other visits.  At one point in the visit, Mr. Reale was discussing how pretty Hannah and Sarah were.  He then jokingly said to Matthew that he would have to watch out after his sisters from all the boyfriends.  Matthew quickly responded, “Why, I’m going to be in North Carolina with you, I am going to college in North Carolina.”  The conversation then progressed to discussions about colleges Matthew is interested in as well as Mr. Reale’s college experience.

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In keeping with and displaying her lack of understanding as to the applying proper consequences for a 10-year-old child, Julie Riggins shared the following with me with regard to Matthew continuing to act out after our talk; 

I understand it was not appropriate for you to issue discipline to Matthew yesterday since you could not follow-up on it.  I just hoped that maybe a conversation with you would help him to make better choices.  Thank you for talking to him.  Unfortunately,  he did continue to have some issues with his behavior on the way home.  Please know he is not behaving poorly all of the time.  It’s just when he doesn’t get his way or when he wants something from someone.  It’s also when he is addressed for something inappropriate that he has done.  His disrespect to adults as well as siblings, especially Hannah, is an issue.  It’s not appropriate for him to continuously call others names, to tell them to shut up, and to call them stupid.  His response “shut up” are just words.  His response is also to keep talking and mumbling until he has the last word, which is highly disrespectful when he’s being reprimanded by an adult.  But, it’s also common for kids at his age.  I hope he will grow out of it and show improvement as he matures, but it will require consistent redirection on the part of every adult that comes into contact with him when he talks that way.

Just to let you know:  His consequence was loss of his bike for 2 weeks.  He had an alternative consequence choice of: writing sentences–I will not call others names.  I will not talk back to adults.  I will take responsibility for my actions.  He chose to lose his bike for 2 weeks rather than writing the sentences.  If he continues to have these same issues, the sentence writing will probably become the actual consequence rather than a choice.

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Choices??? Absurd!  You NEVER give choices; but this is exactly the failing philosophy that the likes of CPS is spreading across our nation.  Apparently kid’s now have a say in their own consequences, among other things.  How is that effective?  No matter what the actual consequence ends up being, the child still feels a sense of victory since he was able to choose the lesser of the two.  I though these were the “professionals?”  Taking his bike away for two weeks?  Really?  He’ll forget about that bike in two days and replace it with something else of interest.  He may not even ride the bike for two months simply because he forgot about it!  It is far more effective to (T)AKE (E)VERYTHING (A)WAY for a       (S)HORT (P)ERIOD (O)F (T)IME (TEA-SPOT); 1-2 days or in some cases, just hours.  If the behavior is corrected then the child earns EVERYTHING back; if another rule is violated (or the same one) then you begin a new TEASPOT cycle (maybe a longer cycle).  Eventually they get it; quite quickly in fact.  And by the way, none of this is worth spit, if there are not clear, specific, and detailed expectations; set forth with Love and Kindness, with absolute resolve, and with the intention to follow through – consistently!  This is how we implemented and will continue to implement consequences in our house.

And so here we are?  CPS has decided to “GIVE UP”on my son Matthew, like many others before him.  It’s not enough that they have ABDUCTED our 6 children under 12, placing them with an incompetent 24-year-old caregiver for over a year without any evidence of abuse or neglect, but they are now proposing to remove my 10-year-old son and place him with “strangers,” separating him from his 5 loving brothers and sisters; simply because they don’t want to actually follow through with what they purport to stand for – providing a loving, nurturing environment for Matthew and each and every one of my other children while this fiasco continues to be tossed about in the KANGAROO COURT.

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Why do you think…

• that Children are 11 times more likely to be abused in State care than they are in their own homes
• that there are more than half a million Children and Youth in the U.S. foster care system, a 90% increase since 1987
• that 3 of 10 of the nation’s homeless are former foster children
• that 12-18 months after leaving foster care:
  27% of the males and 10% of the females had been incarcerated
  33% were receiving public assistance
  37% had not finished high school
  50% were unemployed
• that 80 percent of prison inmates have been through the foster care system

Children in foster care are 3 to 6 times more likely than children not in care to have emotional, behavioral and developmental problems, including conduct disorders, depression, difficulties in school and impaired social relationships.

Some experts estimate that about 30% of the children in care have marked or severe emotional problems.

Various studies have indicated that children and young people in foster care tend to have limited education and job skills, perform poorly in school compared to children who are not in foster care, lag behind in their education by at least 1 year, and have lower educational attainment than the general population.

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This is a machine that once it is put into motion, it cannot be stopped; Even when things quickly spin out of control; Even when things are clearly moving in the wrong direction; Especially when children are at risk!  I WILL continue to fight this corruption and this Evil Empire of Scandalous Characters in the name of my wife an each of my children.  I AM HER HUSBAND and I AM THEIR FATHER! I ALWAYS WILL BE!  PERIOD!  I WILL CONTINUE TO EXPOSE THE RECORD!